# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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