what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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