Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
