i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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