even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just blew my weed a kiss
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
