Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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