So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
