You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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