dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
