Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
