Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
