another moral hangover. fuck.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
