We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
