he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
