Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
