Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
