420 ftw
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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