Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
