sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
