four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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