Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
