anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize