New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
