he puts the penis in happiness.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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