wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
