You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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