I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
