Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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