There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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