Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
