But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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