a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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