if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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