He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
