girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
