i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
