Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
