Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
