he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
This is the high leading the old right now
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Randomize
