his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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