I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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