ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
