Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
