I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
