TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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