i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Someone signed my nipple.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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