I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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