u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
