just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
