It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
