is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
