idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
