:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
